Thinking hard

Recently I've been thinking a lot because of these questions.Take a look. If you know any of the answers, put a number beside your answer and say it in the comments. I repeat, COMMENTS, not tagboard.

1. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
2. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
3. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
4. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
5. If olive oil comes from olives, coconut oil from coconut, where does baby oil come from?
6. What's another word for thesaurus?
7. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
8. Rehab is for quitters!
9. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
10. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
11. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
12. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
13. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
14. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
15. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
16. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
17. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
18. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
19. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
20. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
21. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
22. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?
23. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
24. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
25. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
26. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
27. If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
28. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
29. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts!
30. So what's the speed of dark?
31. Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
32. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
33. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
34. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
35. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the driver end up owing you money?
36. What would a chair look like if you knees bent the other way?
37. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
38. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
39. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not a door?
40. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
41. Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it?
42. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
43. War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

And that shall be my holiday homework for you people this June Holidays.