HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARA AND ANTHEA!

My birthday experience

Lets start off with monday.

Monday, 16th June, 2008
Went for training. quite mundane. except that there was more da-dui involved this time since the upper sec ballers was "free". Today also marked the day that Nicholas Chan started his chalet. Didn't go on that day though, had tuition at night.

Tuesday 17th June, 2008
Happy birthday Jessika, and big bro Norris. Like...all these years I've always knew my brother's birthdaywas around June but I didn't expect it to be on the 17th, lol. For those of you who didn't know, YES, I have and older brother. Its a complicated story, I won't say it here. Anyways, left for Nicholas chalet. Arrived at around 1-2pm, can't quite remember. Weijian, Gavin, Teohan, Bryan, Justin, Weijian(the one not from Jurong), Engleng, and Joey were there already, from the previous night. Apparently when i reached there, they told me that Teohan and Bryan got drunk the previous night. They had some vodka thingy and got really really drunk. (I'm sorry guys, if you consider this as "pal-toh") So after lunch, we had a few games of Dota(on our laptops) and NBA(on chan's Xbox). Nicholas, Justin, Bryan and I got a bit sian of these games, so we went over to the arcade to try out some of the games. Seems like Mr Boay's cafe is just outside the arcade. So we played for a while and went for bowling after that. Nailed my first screwball, with a strike! It was a few short games, but enjoyable. Went back for the bbq and rested a bit. Randy came over and started playing Dota(I think). The other guys went down and got the fire going, and we got the food going. It was pretty good food actually. All hail Joey the great fire starter. After the hearty dinner, cut cake! this is a bit gay, but oh heck.
sang the "happy birthday" by click five. not click four, but click five. was quite an interesting choice of song for the occasion though. finished the cake, player with some leftover food, and matchsticks. went up to the room, drank one cup of the weird mix of clement's vodka and miranda orange.
wasn't too bad.tasted quite...funky actually. played Dota and some random Xbox games with randy through the night. The rest all fell asleep.

Wednesday, 18th June 2008
You know how it really sucks when you have to wake up to a phone call/sms about something important? yeah, we got just that. Engleng recieved a mesage from Esther about the musical rehearsal that we were supposed to be at. Oh well, don't care. Checked out, and went for brunch. Nicholas, Justin, and unknown Weijian left first cuz they had lots of things to carry. Walked around aimlessly till we decided to go home from there.

Thursday, 19th June 2008
Went to watch "You Don't Mess With The Zohan" with church people. It wasn't a movie worth watching again unless you knew how to appreciate sexual humour. Though the "smell it, smell it, okay now take it" part was quite funny. It wouldn't be worth spending a fortune over.

So went home, and took a shower. When I came out of the shower, checked my phone and wth. 11newmessages! thats like...SO MANY.

Friday, 20th June 2008, just after 12mn
All birthday wishes. quite glad that so many remembered. they are

-Lianxin
-Andrew
-Kaylin (aka xiao gong zhu)
-Mivio
-Nicholas Ng
-Ashre
-Engleng
-Joey
-BoBo
-Melissa
-Bernice
-Brian Mark
-Uli
-Shaun
-Huiming
-Minghow
-Fiona
-Minhui
-Weiting
-Weilun
-Wenxin
-Natasha
-Yunwei

Well of course this FAR exceeds 11. but basically my phone got spammmmed by these people.

Friday, 20th June 2008, after 6am
woke up, check to se if there were MORE spam. okay thats a bit evil, but just woke up to check for more messages. Nothing. oh well. washed up, and left for macdonalds to meet up with some of the other bballers to have breakfast before going to the musical rehearsal. ate, and left. hung around for the rehearsal and IT WAS DAMN SIAN. If i could double the colour of the bold of these four words, it would be like...blacker than....black. so in between, went for training. had one on one, then five on five. sprained ankle while playing. happy birthday to me!

teammates bought cake back for jiaolian. so celebrated together with nicholas and me. took the cake and played around with everyone. quite....fun actually.

and...thats about it. i suppose. oh...also note that there's at least 1 full hour of emo-ing in between.

Msn fun!

Its fun being at the top.

I pwn3d Brian's ass and beat him to the top of the msn list. Its quite fun/retarded trying to figure out which punctuation mark puts you at the top.

p.s. This is Desiree's msn account btw. I find the way she categorizes contacts...interesting.

Men vs Women

I bought this book a few months back and the things they say inside here never fails to make me laugh. It's titled "Why men can only do one thing at a time and women never stop talking". This is just one tiny component of it. This post does not promote sexism in anyway, mind you.

A Guide to Women's English

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're...so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtain = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO, i mean hang it there!
Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes i am yelling because i think this is important


AND...


The Guide to Men's English
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a film? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out for dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = What meaningless, self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Lets have sex now
I love you, too = OK, I said it...We'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $150 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that i am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

Just so you readers out there know, this does not entirely hold true for ALL men and women. Its just...in general.

Videos for boredom

Stick Figures on Crack - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUgUD4nl_dI

Stick Figures on Crack 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JbwWmiYw18

Stick Figures on Crack 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc_vaHhtNoc

Drunk guy races through window - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL4egZBrXDo&feature=related

Chua Tio! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoGk8uH8Zo4&feature=related

LOL soccer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZho5myNUdY&feature=related

Thinking hard

Recently I've been thinking a lot because of these questions.Take a look. If you know any of the answers, put a number beside your answer and say it in the comments. I repeat, COMMENTS, not tagboard.

1. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
2. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
3. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
4. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
5. If olive oil comes from olives, coconut oil from coconut, where does baby oil come from?
6. What's another word for thesaurus?
7. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
8. Rehab is for quitters!
9. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
10. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
11. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
12. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
13. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
14. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
15. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
16. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
17. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
18. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
19. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
20. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
21. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
22. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?
23. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
24. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
25. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
26. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
27. If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
28. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
29. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts!
30. So what's the speed of dark?
31. Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
32. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
33. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
34. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
35. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the driver end up owing you money?
36. What would a chair look like if you knees bent the other way?
37. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
38. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
39. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not a door?
40. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
41. Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it?
42. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
43. War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

And that shall be my holiday homework for you people this June Holidays.

Bored

I am going to buy 5 sets of white t-shirts and randomly use markers to draw stuff on it. La da da

Laugh out loud...seriously

I was surfing the net last night for some random jokes and it turns out that these are the best one's I've seen. Boy, oh boy are these people creative in writing their answers.

"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."

"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"

"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"

"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Many women believe that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."

"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

"Liter: A nest of young puppies."

"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

"For a nose bleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration."

"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my names Bob. Im an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? Theyre both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesnt he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that theres billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you theres wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?



Also see:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/5107/They-didnt-study

http://www.scribd.com/doc/70428/Stupid-Lawyers-Stupid-Questions

Random Pictures

Fast food, anyone?

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Being a kid is just so cool...

Nothing BIG today. Went for training. Dropped by Jurong Point to check out the prices for plain t-shirts. Its the Great Singapore Sales after all! probably gonna get a few to try and do the class t-shirt design I did the other time.

Went for training. Reached school at 12 plus? Did my chem holiday assignment. Chem isn't all that tough if you put your mind to it actually. Coach came and we training.

Dropped by Nicholas' place to borrow his mixer for some...casual recording.

Reached home at 5.30pm. Bathed, and started to try out recording some stuff on the keyboard. Its actually quite easy to use after a while. Had dinner afterwards, then more recording. Finished at around 1030pm.

Koped the picture above from Brian's blog

Lessons learnt today : Practice and Plan before recording!